The winter holidays can put a lot of stress on parents – especially when it comes to the finances. Studies indicate that a lot of parents feel pressured to blow their holiday budget, and that pressure may intensify if you’re newly separated or divorced. You (or your co-parent) may be tempted to try to “make up” for the family divide by going overboard with gifts.
How do you navigate this situation with grace and still provide the kids with a happy holiday? You need to communicate early and often with your co-parent about the gift-giving this year. Here are some tips
Schedule a meeting just for this purpose
Table any other disputes or ongoing issues you may have with your co-parent and ask them to meet with you just to discuss this issue. Narrowing the focus of your meeting is more likely to produce successful results.
Have wish lists, letter to Santa in hand
Your children may have already presented you with their holiday “wish lists.” Now, more than ever, it’s important to be on the same page with your ex. Go over the lists and try to come to an agreement on what they can have, what’s a definite “no,” what “Santa” will bring (if your kids are still in that age group) and how the expenses will be divided between you.
Coordinate the shopping process
You don’t want to duplicate your efforts, so each of you should leave the meeting with a clear understanding (and a list) of what you each are responsible for acquiring. That way, there’s no confusion that will lead to last-minute rushes, frustration and disappointment.
Part of effective co-parenting is coming together to make sure that your issues with each other affect the children as little as possible. A good parenting plan can help ease a lot of tensions – but compromise and communication are still essential.