Getting divorced as parents often means dividing custody of the children. Some parents can agree on a child custody arrangement, while others need the court to issue a custody order. This process can help divide physical custody, which is where the child lives, and legal custody, which refers to the ability to make important decisions on the child’s behalf – where they go to school, how to address their healthcare needs, etc.
But what about the day-to-day process of being a parent? Is your spouse obligated to have similar rules?
Perhaps you always make sure that the children go to bed at a reasonable hour, and you have other rules to guide them as they grow and develop. Your ex-spouse, on the other hand, seems to have no rules at all and lets the children do whatever they want. Because you are co-parents, does your spouse have to implement the same rules you have established?
Rules do not have to be the same
From a legal perspective, your spouse is not doing anything wrong. As long as they are following the court order and not endangering the children, that’s all that is required of them. They do not have to enforce the same rules that you do regarding curfews, entertainment options, electronic device use, homework, spending time with friends or anything else. Both you and your spouse are allowed to have different house rules when you have custody of the children.
That said, if the two of you can work together and give the children similar rules, it may help them. This consistency lets them know what to expect and makes life feel a bit more stable for them. But neither of you can force the other co-parent to follow your rules – as long as they aren’t in violation of the court order.
Co-parent disputes involving children can get complicated, and parents must know what legal steps to take.